9 things every gay guy should tell the doctor right away

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If you’re not already having frank conversations with your doctor, some of these might make you blush—especially 3, 4, & 5—but it’s critical to your health to be fully open, honest, and out with your doctor. Start talking about these 9 things with your primary care provider right away.

#1: Your financial situation.

Wait. That’s not really anybody else’s business, right? And certainly has nothing to do with your primary care doctor, right?


If you’re gong through financial difficulty, those financial pressures may be contributing to some of your symptoms. Or they may lead to arguments with your significant other which could cause an impact to your health.

Similarly, if you’re having amazing financial success, that, too, could cause financial pressures that impact your health and relationships.

It’s important to tell the doctor everything about you, including stressors like your financial situation.

#2: You’ve lost interest in sex.

You may be more inclined to talk about your physical ailments, and less inclined to talk about your sex drive. But don’t fall victim to shyness. 

You need to talk openly about emotional and sexual health because these topics could help your doctor hone in on symptoms of a physical problem.

Chronic stress, anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, or an imbalanced hormone level could be the cause of your lower sex drive.

In order to provide the best treatment plan for you, your doctor needs to know right away if you’ve lost your desire for sexual activity.

#3: You’re having a whole lot of sex.

On the flip side, let’s say you’re hooking up with a different catch each night. Your doctor needs to know that too.

Having a lot of sex with multiple partners can put you at risk for STDs like ghonnorhea, clamydia, syphillis, HIV, and more, and may (or may not) be a symptom of emotional distress.

It’s important to discuss your sexual history with your provider and be totally upfront about how often you have sex.

#4: You get paid to have sex.

If you’re involved in paid sexual activity, whether as a sex worker or in porn films, your doctor needs to know.

Our number one goal at The Doctor is to keep you healthy, safe, and sane.

The best way for our dedicated providers to do that is for you to raise the curtain on your life.

Whatever you say is protected and held to the highest standard of confidentiality. Remember—we can’t help you if we don’t know the full story.

#5: All the kinky secrets about your sexual activity.

Okay this one is a biggie guys. Again, this is a judgement free zone, so let’s keep it real.

If you enjoy inserting toys like large dildos in your anus, your doctor needs to know.

If you get into fisting, your doctor needs to know.

If you engage in unprotected sex, your doctor needs to know.

This activity may be perfectly fine for your body, or it may be causing damage. Our providers at The Doctor will work to understand your sexual proclivities, educate you on how to engage with those desires safely, or advise you against unhealthy behaviors.

Be warned: A judgment free zone doesn’t mean your doctor won’t ever encourage you to stop engaging in certain types of activity that could be harmful to you and your body. It just means they’ll do it with care and compassion, which is what you want from a primary care provider.

#6: You take over-the-counter meds, steroids, or any unprescribed drugs.

A best practice we always recommend is to keep a list of ALL drugs you take—prescribed or unprescribed—and bring it to your doctor each time you visit.

During visits, tell your provider EVERYTHING you take—even if it’s Tylenol, Benadryl, or any other over-the-counter medication, and especially if you’re taking a recreational drug or unprescribed steroids.

The combination of any of these types of drugs along with a prescription drug can produce serious side effects and could even lead to an overdose.

Make sure your list of drugs includes multivitamins, herbal supplements for sleep, and even powders like BC for headaches. And if you see a specialist who prescribes a new medication, make sure you let your primary care provider know about the prescription right away.

#7: You noticed blood in your stool.

If you have blood in your stool, you probably already know that’s a problem. But if you don’t look, you won’t know! So take a peek, and if you see something strange, say something.

Now some of you may be thinking, “Is this really something I need to talk about with my doctor?”

Definitely! It could save your life.

Blood in the stool could be a symptom of colorectal cancer, which can be completely cured if it’s caught early enough.

So be sure to mention any change in your bathroom habits to your doctor right away, including constipation.

#8: You think you’re depressed.

If you’ve been feeling down lately or for a prolonged period of time, make an appointment with your doctor and come have a conversation about how you feel.

Never be embarrassed to ask a doctor about depression. Emotions can impact your physical and mental health just like physical ailments.

Depression can make you feel fatigued, have aches, and lose you appetite and sex drive. The sooner a medical professional knows about how you’re feeling, the quicker you can get on a path toward feeling better. 

At The Doctor, our providers are trained to assess and treat depression, and they can either prescribe treatment or refer you to an appropriate specialist if necessary.

If you’re not comfortable mentioning details about how you feel at the appointment, get help. Reach out to a friend or family member and get them to agree to join you in the appointment and speak up about how you’re feeling.

#9: You quit your meds.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way. Your doctor PROBABLY already knows if you aren’t taking your meds.

Blood work, your body’s progress, and your current symptoms could easily let your provider know that you aren’t following the prescribed treatment regimen.

Often, doctors aren’t surprised when you tell them you’ve stopped taking your meds, because by the time you muster the courage to tell them, your symptoms have progressed from bad to worse.

Don’t let it get to this point. Tell your doctor RIGHT AWAY if you stop taking your meds for any reason.

Perhaps your meds create an undesired or unexpected side effect. Let your doctor know. There may be alternative treatments, or your doctor may be able to reassure you that the side effects are worth it for the benefits of treatment.

Or maybe you’ve decided you don’t need the meds anymore, or a friend, family member, or other medical professional encouraged you to stop taking your meds. Tell your primary care doctor right away.

Stopping your meds before you’ve completed the treatment plan and not telling you doctor about it can be very dangerous. 

The medicine your doctor prescribes is designed to keep you healthy. If you trust that doctor enough to keep coming for visits, trust the treatment plan too, or your better off finding another provider whose words you’ll honor.

So if you’re having problems with medication, talk to your provider right away.

Ready to start talking?

Marc Vinson